So, here in the V office, we find ourselves talking about the upcoming summer holidays. We’re aware that this is a turn of phrase we have only picked up because it was the amazing six weeks that were found in between school years. It was a magical time when we bought new coats, new shoes and pencil cases for the upcoming year. Nowadays, it means struggling to get two weeks off work, or ten days perhaps, in which we will have to pay extortionate amounts to holiday with parents and their offspring. Yet surprisingly enough, if we went at at any other time of the year, it would be cheaper. We will absolutely look into this. But we feel so overwhelmed with the mass of clients V London has and so never want to leave for a second and miss fixing one of the beautiful babes with some of our gorgeous gentlemen. That would be more upsetting than turning up at your four star hotel to find plastic furniture around the pool. We’ve only just gotten over the nightmare of 2007.

With the weather constantly dreary and just miserable from start to finish, we are coming round to the idea that it can definitely affect our mood. Like the days you leave the house and you just think ‘what the hell am I wearing on my head?’, because you’re having a bad hair day. Research has proven that this can greatly affect our feelings for the entire day; we assume until we can get back to the shower or to the barbers to go for a number three, all over. Perhaps that’s why David Beckham has had so many different hairstyles. That, and when you’re one of the richest footballers to have ever graced the face of the planet you can pretty much get away with anything. Having said that, the matching sarongs and leather outfits circa 1999 were a bit of a faux pas. Though we won’t judge – it’s certainly individual, and this is applauded. But we imagine a lot of it was for the attention.

One thing you don’t have to worry about when entertaining a cheap London escort is flashing the cash. They’re only worried about if you’re going to enjoy yourself, which you better do! The number of girls we have available in our gallery are so varied there will absolutely be something for everyone. If you’re overwhelmed by the amount of choice, don’t panic. Just give one of the friendly receptionists a call, let them know your preferences and they will do their utmost to ensure the particular type of companion you’re looking for, perhaps a busty escort is your preference, will be ready and waiting for you. That beats any summer holiday, in our eyes.