Some of us have a natural inclination to be sexually dominant or submissive; this can range from who’s on top to full BDSM play. There are many different levels, and each of us has a different point that we are comfortable with. In relationships, you become familiar with your partner and learn what they do and don’t like, but it’s more difficult to tell with someone new. People aren’t always forthcoming with their fantasies so it may take some time to coax it out of them; they may even have desires that they don’t yet know about or haven’t considered.

For those who don’t have a natural inclination towards one or the other, it’s fun to swap in the bedroom and try both. You could try tying her up and then letting her do it to you, or blindfolding each other to give the other one control. This is best with someone you know well and trust – that should eliminate any anxiety you might have about trying new things.

If you find that you are more naturally dominant, you need to be careful how far you take this. A man can be more threatening than a woman due to his physical strength, so she needs to trust you. You can’t go throwing your weight about without her prior consent in case she gets scared; things like this need to be discussed in depth beforehand so that you know where the boundaries lie. Couples often have a ‘safety’ word that they can use to stop at any time should they start to feel uncomfortable. This should never be something obvious like ‘no’ or ‘stop’, just in case these words are used as part of the game. Two thirds of women admit to having fantasised about forced sex, but they may have been to embarrassed to tell their partners, not realising just how common it is. To use a safety word, choose something that would never usually crop up during sex, such as “carrots” or “pluto”. It must be something that you’ll remember, but not something that could be misheard.

How far you take your dominant role is entirely up to your partner. Some of our London escorts enjoy to play the dominant role, but women are often more nervous about pursuing the submissive role for the reasons listed above. It means completely giving themselves over to their partners, trusting them with pleasure and pain. It takes a lot of guts to try this for the first time, so start off gently and see how you go. You might unlock a whole new world that you never knew existed!