Women can be a complete mystery to men. Yes, they’re fascinating, but what goes on in their heads? What do they want from us?! We tried speaking to some of our lovely London escorts to find out how they think, giving us a bit of an insight into that ever elusive female mind.

Some things are quite straight forward, and you will learn these things very quickly if you’re in a relationship: if she asks you whether or not she looks alright, the answer is ALWAYS yes. If she asks you if she looks fat, the answer is ALWAYS no. You get the idea. Unless you know for a fact that your other half has a great sense of humour and will appreciate a dig, play it safe and stick to compliments (even if you think otherwise).

One of the less straightforward things about women is that they don’t always say what they mean. A classic example of this is if she says she’s “fine”, when she’s obviously in a bad mood. The only way you can read these situations is judging by the tone in her voice and by her behaviour. She might say no when she means yes, and yes when she means no. This might be something like, “No, I don’t mind if you go to the pub”, or “Yes, it’s fine for you to cancel our dinner plans”. Don’t fall into this trap – you will end up paying for it later! She will expect you to know her well enough to understand what she really means.

Often, women scold men for having wandering eyes; they claim not to have the same innate desire to ‘spread their seed’ and only have eyes for their men. But the truth is, nobody stops looking just because they’re in love – even women notice other handsome men, think about other men when they’re in bed with you and some are unfaithful. It’s true that most women take much more naturally to being monogamous, but don’t assume that you’re the only man they’ll be attracted to for the rest of their life.

Women like to talk to their friends about their problems – this is one of the major differences between the sexes. You shouldn’t see it as a betrayal of your trust if she discusses your private life; this is just how women cope with problems. It would be unnatural for them to bottle things up, so this is just one of those facts of life that you need to accept.