Fabulous Ways to Cool Off

Here at V, we were having our usual daily fight over fans as has become the norm in this week, when we wondered how on earth people that live in places with constant high temperatures cope. It took us a while, but then we realised they have this thing called ‘air conditioning’? It strikes us as weird because there are quite a few people who wouldn’t even consider buying a car without the button emblazoned with AC. No motorway air, here, please. Yet we can be confident that very few actually have it in their homes, or even offices, perhaps. British homes, it seems, were built to keep the heat in, thanks to our dreary autumn days, our cold winters and wet springs. When it comes hot summers, we’re amateurs, to be honest. And so we open every single window in the house, invite every creature from a Bug’s Life in, and settle for muggy evenings where stickiness is the norm. Thank God our clients don’t have to spend this time in such awful conditions.

The blonde escorts, for example, are the greatest girls to be around at this time of year because they have a very infectious love to live attitude. It’s sunny? They whack out the bikinis. It’s rainy? Use umbrellas. Very adaptable and flexible (don’t be rude) things, these ladies are the perfect pick-me-up for any gentleman that is not looking forward to the busy train, with its sauna-like atmosphere. Instead, they want to be able to take a leisurely stroll to a beautiful hotel, WITH air conditioning, might we add, and spend some time with one of the gorgeous girls that we have at V. They don’t have to be conventional, either. Perhaps a cold bath? As walking through the streets of London is just a pair of boxers can get your forbidden from certain districts (we doubt this, but it’s important to note it’s frowned upon). We appreciate original ideas as ways to cool down. But of course you must first spend time with a London escort. After all, what’s the point in cooling down if you don’t get a little bit hot and bothered before hand.

A bottle of Cristal, a bowl of strawberries and cooling off in a tub filled with Evian water? We’re not even sure this is possible, but as our hands feel clammy, our backs slightly moist and our brows having definitely been in contact with some moisture of late and we so deserve it. As do you.