Asserting Power in the Bedroom

Some people are naturally dominant, some are submissive. This can not only play a part in the bedroom but can also carry over into your daily life; a dominant personality may make you more assertive, possibly more suited for a leadership role in the workplace. Being naturally submissive may make you more amenable and better at taking orders, and could even help you adapt to different situations more easily.

Whereas some prefer to take on one role or the other in the bedroom, many enjoy switching between the two. It can be fun to get into character, even if it’s very different from your usual personality. Being submissive is usually the easiest role to take on; simply obey your partner and be at their mercy. If you’re going all out with some BDSM, make sure you have a ‘safety word’ you can use if you become uncomfortable so that your partner will know to stop immediately. Make it something you’d never use normally in bed, like “teapot” or “giraffe”. It may sound silly now, but it will leave your partner in no doubt that they’re going to far – just saying “no” or “stop” could be part of the role play.

Being dominant can seem a bit daunting for some. There are subtle ways you can introduce it into your sex life without jumping in at the deep end. First of all, get on top. Being in this position automatically puts you in control; your partner will not be able to move freely, and during sex you are able to control the speed and depth of penetration. To take things a step further, take your partner’s wrists in your hands and pin them above their head. Even if they were strong enough to push you off, this will show them that you know exactly what you want and will make you feel powerful. It leaves them at your mercy – you could even hold both of their wrists in one hand and use your other to caress their body.

If you want to be the powerful, assertive one, introduce a bit of teasing. Rather than giving your partner everything they want straight away, leave them hanging for a while so that the tension really builds up and before long they’ll be gagging for it. London escorts often use this method to entice men – it’s won them a big fan club! Teasing can come in all kinds of forms: kiss them on the lips but pull away when they start to get passionate, or bring them to the brink of climax and then stop. This will be very frustrating for them but will make the orgasm so much better when you finally let them reach it!

Finally, introduce some gentle bondage. Use silk scarves or fluffy handcuffs to tie up your partner, and maybe get them to wear a blindfold. The rest is up to you – you’ll be completely in control!