Domination Vs Submission

BDSM comes under many different names and guises. It stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism. This can range from very mild play to hardcore fanatics. It’s all about power and control – dishing it out and giving in to it to get a sexual thrill. Most couples have tried mild bondage on some level; the most comfortable way is to use silk scarves as a blindfold and to bind your hands together. From here you could move on to fluffy handcuffs (sold in high street sex shops), then up to ropes or real handcuffs.

A large part of BDSM is roleplay, choosing whether you are the dom or the sub. Most of us have a natural inclination towards one or the other, but couples sometimes switch between the two to mix things up a bit. For some, it is just a bit of fun to spice up their sex lives, but others take it much more seriously and make it a lifestyle choice. There is a large underground fetish scene in London where lovers of BDSM can play with each other, either with one partner or as part of a group.

The traditional setting to practise BDSM is in a dungeon environment; this is because it’s associated with pain and humiliation, which is a large part of the lifestyle. Subs consensually receive punishment from their doms, and a code of conduct is always followed to differentiate it from sexual violence. The rule followed by every dom and sub is to respect the “safe word”; this is created to immediately stop what’s going on if anyone becomes uncomfortable with what is happening. The safe word can be anything, but should always be something you wouldn’t usually call out during sex play; “no” and “stop” could simply be part of a game, so most choose something completely random such as ‘teapot’ or ‘giraffe’. It might sound bizarre, but it prevents anyone from going too far without realising.

If you’re not sure whether you’re naturally dominant or submissive but you fancy giving the lifestyle a try, play around with your partner trying a little bit of both. Start off gently; perhaps some light spanking and dirty talk, progressing as far as you both feel comfortable. If you both keep bursting out laughing, it’s probably not for you!

If the black leather and dog collar really does it for you, request for your Southwark escort to arrive dressed as a dominatrix when you make a booking. We’re sure one of our girls will show you who’s boss…