Knowing When to Move On

It’s a common misconception that break ups are only painful if you’ve been in a serious relationship. There are many different situations that could affect you more than you realise: perhaps you had a crush on a girl for a long time, then she ended it before it had really begun; or maybe you had a fling with someone who meant more to you than you had realised. In casual scenarios like this, it is difficult to know where you stand. Unless you’ve had “the chat” (which instantly makes things seem more serious), you don’t really know if she’s looking for a relationship, if she’s playing the field or if she’s just having fun with you.

A lot of men are quite happy not to set any guidelines and just to keep things casual; it seems like the best thing for you, not having to be tied down with any commitment or responsibility. You have no desire to meet her parents yet and you haven’t even thought about the future. However, have you considered how much you like her? Do you fantasise about her even more than sexy escort girls? Would you be upset if she ended it? These are the questions you need to ask yourself to discover your true feelings for her.

If you’ve established that you want to be with this girl, you then need to work out if she feels the same way. This isn’t always easy without having the conversation upfront, which you may not want to do in the early stages of the romance. Instead, look for the tell-tale signs of whether or not she’s really into you. For example, who usually contacts who first? If you’re always the one to initiate a text, email or call, be careful. Girls are rarely concerned with playing it cool, so if you don’t hear from her it could be because she’s not that interested. There are so many ways to get in touch these days, especially with the popularity of social networking sites and new technology; try waiting for her to contact you first. If you don’t hear anything all week, it could be time to cut your losses.

When someone is into you, they want to make an effort for you and do nice things. Do you find yourself always bending over backwards for her? If everything is always on her terms, something is wrong. Healthy relationships need to be fairly equal, and one like this seems to be leaning heavily in her favour. It could be a sign that she is using you; unless she makes an effort, it’s time to move on to more generous pastures.